What is Corona teaching us?

For the past few days the buzzing word all around the globe is ‘Corona’. The news is everywhere. Fake news are equally spreading. And more than the virus, panic is all around. The thing that is seen is people getting lost in panic and they aren’t concentrating on precautions. To put it in a better fashion there are more reactions to each of the posts on Facebook and innumerable whats app messages but when it comes to action it’s zero. 

Two days back I went out to buy essentials to a shop. People had been discussing on the virus outbreak. As the discussion continued; various comments and suggestions came up. There was this comment. “Nambha Ooru la lam Koozh aanalum Kulithu Kudi, Kandhai Aanalum Kasaki kattu apidi dhan solluvanga. [There are proverbs which says one has to have a bath even if he/she is having only porridge and wash clothes and wear even if they are torn.]  Now this virus has come and teaching us the same.” And that particular man coughed with no handkerchief or tissue and did not cover his mouth. Next person spoke about cleanliness. “Sutham Soru Podum nu andha kalathulayae solli vechurukanga”. [Cleanliness serves food on table.] He coughed covering his mouth just with hands and then he started packing things for another customer. And together they were mocking the coughing ringtone.

Next I was at a medical store to grab my hand sanitizer. A lady came and asked the pharmacist for a cough syrup which is around 40 Rs. The pharmacist said all cough syrups are above 50 Rs. Coughing she left the place telling ‘Na enna Pannuven’. Was in Q to pay and before could ask her to go to Primary health center or ask for her whereabouts she vanished. (2 other people tried to get to know about her as well).

Picture from Insider. Source: CDC

So, are we really getting the lessons from this communicable disease?? It is teaching us personal hygiene. It is not about whether ‘Tamilan oru ariviyal munnodi’ [Tamilians are the forerunners of Science] or not. That is not the debate now. It is all about how he is now. The same person who keeps his home clean doesn’t help the society with his solid waste management. The same person who speaks about personal hygiene serves food with the right hand as he is eating in group. Note: Without spoon, I say. The same person who is proud of his great grandfathers for their personal hygiene doesn’t wash legs after using the restroom or clean the place where he ate spitting curry leaves. 

This is the current situation. Many research analysts fear the repeat of 1918 flu which hit us in two phases. One affecting sick and elderly; in second phase affecting the young and dynamic ones. It is time to get the lessons of personal hygiene right. 

And one of the major drawbacks is with older people. It is hard to convince them with personal hygiene. They say “Enaku Onnum Varardhu. Andha kalathula sanitizer vecha kaikazhuvinen. Ennala andha virus ku edhuvum aagama irundha seri”. [I wouldn’t get this. Did I use sanitizer before? Wish the virus escapes from me.] So could see the preparedness level with these people. The population using internet is less. It’s high time Govt educate all with campaigns and it is individual responsibility to take care of oneself and cooperate with Govt. We are in dire need of sanitizers, disinfectants in public places. Please spray disinfectants as you do for mosquitoes. 

With precautions, health care facilities won’t run out. If not it could be a problem for all of us. Let’s be safe and let others be safe as well. Take care of yourself and take care of your families. And remember together we are one big family. 

Happy Indian Family advises all to take necessary precautions and educate your local people who have no idea about the internet.

With Care,

Rukmini P Kirthivasan

References:

https://www.livemint.com/news/world/why-1918-matters-in-india-s-corona-war/amp-11584033795146.html

The Importance Of Conversation Over A Cup Of Coffee

Welcome back! 

With the love marriage, arranged marriage survey; followed by the statistics and newer definitions of arranged marriage, it is clear that people are changing and the idea of marriage is evolving too. While doing the research on arranged marriage, came across this definition called semi-arranged marriage. This seems the best option these days. Before discussing why to opt for semi arranged marriage let’s see what is the major draw back in the  arranged marriage process. 

The draw back in arranged marriage process can be deciphered just with this single scene from Ilaiyathalapathi’s movie, Thuppakki. After the massive hero introduction song, he is directly kidnapped to the bride’s place by his parents. Kajal Agarwal comes in beautiful vaadamalli colour self bordered silk saree with a contrast ramar Pachai blouse, neatly plaited long hair, flowers kept in an orderly fashion, elegant pearl neck pieces. She is absolutely stunning. After the pleasantries it’s just bajji sojji eating ceremony and the usual ‘I will call and let you know’ dialogue. Even before anything is finalized Vijay is labelled as ‘Mappillai’ by Mano Bala. 

This is what happens in every household in India. People easily get into the conclusions. Kajal Agarwal is bold, beautiful, she exactly fits into the image of the wife that Vijay has in mind. But those two were never allowed to strike a conversation. 

Following the bajji sojji ceremony in the movie, he calls and says he doesn’t like the bride. Kudos to him as he at least takes one decision of rejection rather being a two timer. And Kajal Agarwal just undergoes a massive transformation in her attitude. There too she looks stunning in shorts and pink sleeveless tops with a stole around the neck and free short hair. In the subsequent frames Vijay learns that she is a boxer and isn’t as traditional as she looked that day! And she develops a grudge as he rejected her.


Photo by Jason Villanueva from Pexels

He chases her there after and they fall in love. Had there been a chance for a normal conversation about likes, dislikes; alone in a coffee shop with just the two of them, it would have been a smooth sailing. At least on the terrace. Even before when things are finalized, jumping into conclusions, having a snack ceremony is a headache practically. People feel odd when things don’t go the right way. They feel the efforts are wasted and it causes a lot of tension. There is more pressure in the subsequent alliances.

When a guy and a girl are not allowed to talk before marriage there could be numerous misunderstandings later. ‘Arranged Marriage’ is absolutely tricky. People are not allowed to have a chat but just after marriage in 10 months, people expect grandchildren. This aspect is terrifying rather annoying. 

While there are numerous thoughts, comments on looks like ‘Beauty is just skin deep’, not sure how in a marriage, people aren’t allowed for a chat which speaks about their basic likes and dislikes, non negotiables, core values etc. We can see parents telling their son/daughter “I never talked to your father/mother. Haven’t we sailed through?”. This is a kind of awkward question. We have to make them understand the importance of striking a conversation for the following reasons. 

  • Their core values and yours could not match. Things like veg-non veg differences, drinking habits may create havoc in relationships. These had to be sorted well ahead before getting into relationships. And yes of course about past/ present relationships if you are in one. 
  • Expectations to be discussed to avoid assumptions.Some people like their wife to be independent. If they are clingy people can’t take it. They can speak and let their spouses know the expectations well ahead. Same with girls. They also could have preferences like getting help from husband in household chores. 
  • Sometimes for no reason some people could get a ‘Something is missing’ feel. Do not neglect this cue. Think. Think and think. Give yourself the benefit of doubt. Your body may give some signs, note them. They will not lie. Believe in yourself. Know yourself more before falling for someone. 
  • She or He could be your dream partner. You can fall in love slowly but know that he/she is the one. Don’t miss that chance. Not having a conversation could instill doubts in a relationship. Clear the air with confidence.

So, having a conversation is like ‘A stitch in time saves nine’. But be open. Accept rejections but do not take them personally. Such meetings tell a lot about people. It also shows what you think about yourself after a rejection. Keep working on yourself. More posts to come on the Importance of working on oneself for a relationship.

Semi Arranged marriages is where one can know more about oneself than others. Convince parents to have a good conversation. It can save loads of time and energy.

As Sujatha says “Tamilnadu vae cinema la muzhgi iruku sir”. Give them this particular example from Thuppaki to your parents and convince them to have a conversation in the marriage process. You can save a lot of time and energy by asking the right questions and getting the right answers.

Best wishes! We are here to be and create Happy Families by discovering ourselves! 🙂

With Love,

Rukmini P Kirthivasan

Indian Marriages – Preferences and Statistics

Thank you all for taking part in the survey. As per the survey, most people prefer love marriage in India. Some people took time to clarify why they had chosen love marriage over arranged and shared their own definitions of love and arranged marriages. From the messages and surveys it is clear that people are not okay for a marriage where they are forced. Seems there is more fear in getting married. Especially arranged marriage.

As per the survey in Instagram the poll results are: 81% prefer Love marriage and only 19% prefer arranged marriage.

Poll Results from Instagram

As per the poll in the Happy Indian Family page on Fb, 57% prefer love and 43% prefer arranged marriage. Quite close.

Poll Results from Facebook

These are preferences. But the Statistics of World of Weddings, as per 2nd December 2019, says that, 90% of marriages in India are arranged. There is a huge difference in the sample survey and the actual Statistics. The conversation rate of preference of love marriage to happening in real time is very less. There could be various reasons and let’s discuss the possible reasons in the coming posts. 

This conversation rate tells somewhere there is a miss in carrying love forward. And there are various definitions of love, arranged marriages. In the above mentioned survey by World of Weddings, they had mentioned about the latest trends and the changes in definitions; To put in a better fashion, revised definitions. 

Love marriage definition is clear and no revisions are made. It’s point blank. Arranged marriage has different types. The term arranged marriage is said to be the one where parents decide and no option or difference of opinion is considered from the bride or the groom according to the survey. And there is this new term called ‘semi arranged marriage’. In this, parents would see probable matches but the decision is left to the individuals. These are the revised definitions in Arranged marriages. 


Photo by Kaushal Moradiya from Pexels

When questioned about marriage to gen z of India there are mixed opinions but in all cases people expect that there shouldn’t be too much pressure from parents’ side. For the current trend and for a healthy relationship in any century be it love or arranged call it semi arranged taking responsibility is the key. As per the current definition, wish parents bring in proposals and do the background check and leave the decision to the bride and the groom will make them accountable and avoid blame shifting. 

Times are changing. People can’t be as innocent as the darling writer Ruskin Bond. In one of his interviews he stated that he isn’t married because he didn’t have a family (after the death of his father/grandparents) to arrange an alliance for him! So sad! But such is the legacy in India. But with changing trends, both parents and the eligible bachelors/bachelorettes should evolve and parents should refrain from pressurizing and children should take responsibility so that there are many happy Indian families living happily ever after.

In the future posts there will be posts related to ‘How to get ready for marriage? And How to enjoy the marriage process?’. The preparations start much ahead during college days even well before college days. Stay tuned to have a nostalgic ride as you prepare for your big day!

Loads of Love to you! 

Rukmini P Kirthivasan

References:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/world-of-weddings-in-india-arranged-marriages-are-as-strong-as-ever/

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.vice.com/amp/en_in/article/7x5vae/heres-what-indias-gen-z-really-thinks-about-arranged-marriage

‘Shiva Shakthi’ – The Role Models

A family is always special. It could be a nuclear family or a joint family. There is always more to learn when we are around people. A man can go anywhere in this world but his heart remains at his home. A man for whom, his fall back is his family is more confident, knows where peace, happiness and strength are. A man with a family is ever blessed. People with no support system are emotionally hurt and find difficulty in handling people and facing situations. But a man with father-mother knows he has a strong support system and sleeps peacefully. 

As children we tend to learn things from parents. Just like chromosomes come from both Mother and Father in equal ratio, behavioural aspects also come from surroundings where a child grows and learns to react and respond from mother, father and people around. In a family, both father and mother put equal effort and it is 50-50. Sometimes one gives more and sometimes other gives more and the family runs with mutual love, freedom, respect and understanding. 

But, Why this title for the post on a family blog? 

In India, spirituality is an indispensable part of a family. Being religious is a choice though, but being spiritual is far from being religious and it is something that keeps stress under control. And festivals are something ever cherishable. It is another beautiful day that brings everyone on table and could share a delicious meal together! Only such memories give strength when one is at his/her low point. 

So, on this auspicious day of Maha Shivaratri, shall see how Shiva Shakthi influences our familial structure. In Indian mythology, there is the term ‘Ammai Appan’. Indeed famous in Tamil Nadu. The term denotes the universal father and mother, Lord Shiva and Goddess Parvathi. There are numerous scriptures which speak about various manifestations of Lord Shiva and Goddess Parvathi in nature. Philosophically, Shiva is stillness and Shakthi is energy. Scientifically, Shiva is the potential energy and Shakthi is the kinetic energy. 

Speaking here with respect to Family and contribution of mother and father being in the institution of marriage is inspired from the history that still stands as a wonderful example of 50-50 partnership on all aspects of life is the history of King Sundareshwara Pandiyan and Queen Meenakshi who ruled Madurai, Tamil Nadu. 

It is believed that the universal couple descended on this Earth to show how to run a family well. For 6 months Sundareshwara Pandiyan rules the kingdom and Meenakshi takes care of the family. Next 6 months Meenakshi rules the kingdom and Sundareshwara Pandiyan takes care of the family.

Shri Ardhanari – Line Art by Ajay Kaarthick and Sowmya @Miya’s Hut

There is no gender bias and no gender based task assignment. Might be, one could be a level up and other could be a level down in any of the tasks, but that doesn’t affect the other attempting to take up tasks where one is weak and do it once or twice and learn from the better half in polishing skills.

For the fact, I initially wanted to name this blog ‘Shiva Shakthi’ as they teach core family values. But it sounded a lot spiritual rather than familial. So changed the name to ‘Happy Indian Family’. I take this Maha Shivaratri to Thank the Universal mother and father for the inspiration.

They had set an example on how to run a family with love, respect, freedom, acceptance, being there for another and balancing the cycle called life by being as each other’s better halves. Today, on Mahashivaratri, let’s pray Mahadev and Parvati devi to bless us with an emotional, psychological, physical well being, prosperity, consciousness in each one of us. Let there be love in every one and let’s radiate to others and let our families be more merrier as the masculine and feminine energies are at unison.

Happy Shivaratri!_/\_

#HaraHaraMahadeva

With love,

Rukmini P Kirthivasan

Decoding The Indigenous Definition Of Love

What is love globally?

Love is unconditional. Love is pure. Love is the base of existence. The term ‘I Love You’ is said in every relationship in other countries. But in India it is confined to one aspect predominantly.

What is love in India?

Somehow, due to the influence of cinema or We, Indians seem to get the basic definition of love wrong in general. As youngsters, say in teens love is considered a taboo. Not sure how many guys were said so. But when girls go for studies, extra classes parents fear. A grandmother would shout at parents, “Pombala Pulla, Padika Vecha Love pannitu poiduva”.(Girl child, if you let her read she will love someone and runaway)

How many of you have heard this dialogue? 

How many fathers said “She is my daughter she won’t commit such a mistake” ? 

See, the basic definition is wrong. And one fine day parents fix an alliance. Throughout teens guys and girls are allowed to study in co-ed but there is always an invisible barrier because they would fall in love and suddenly after colleague they want two people to get married and in a year they urge to become parents. Some are lucky to find love. For some it will be lust at the first place and slowly they find love. And in some cases it would be lust throughout! And by the way, I am not against arranged marriage. Just want respect and love to be in the first place and sex is part of this beautiful relationship. As love sets in first sex becomes sacred.

In fact, my marriage is an arranged one and I am a new mother. Also, I am pro arranged marriage but only if there is a scope to get know, streamline oneself, know what one needs and wants in life, a promise from partner that there would be respect first, then love, freedom, encouragement in positive deeds, correcting when planning is bad, being equal, giving shoulder to shoulder in pursuing dreams. 

Photo by Lisa Fotios from Pexels

A marriage is where there is huge scope to get a life long friend, philosopher, guide, lover, mentor and what not? It paves a way for growth in all aspects of life. A partner helps in tremendous financial, emotional, physical, psychological, spiritual growth. He or she could be a twin flame if the definition of love is understood right. 

Here, as stated earlier love is a taboo. If the girl goes for tuition (colloquially) love would spoil her. If she pursues higher education love would spoil her. If she/he is in friendship with another gender after marriage that person has an illicit affair. These stems when one tries to put love in a box and is in fear.

See, seems even I got the definition wrong. Confining Love to Marriage. 

So What Is Love?

Love is being free. As parents, love is confidence when a child pursues higher education. As parents, love is freedom when the child goes out with friends. As Children, Love is being responsible with freedom. As a partner, love is trust when a spouse goes out with their friends, be it of any gender. As a partner, love is being the pillar and supporting the spouse in dreams and uplifting each other in their not so strong aspects. As a boss, Love is not over promising your clients and putting colleagues into trouble. 

As we decode we need to change the way we see love. Let’s shed the cinematic definition of love – be it the first night scene or the duet in exotic location. And to the teens love isn’t something that seems glossy when you are in higher secondary or in early college days. Because in that stage you tend to fall in love. But in Love there is no falling. Only in love people rise. If you are failing beware and time to change gears for good.

On exploring love, Love has various forms. It cannot be just put in a box and in a single definition. And there is a list which seems endless.

Love is helping elders. Love is sharing chores with parents. Love is being there for the right cause with siblings. Love is taking care of pets. Love is watering plants. Love is a trusting partner. Love is not talking behind a friend’s back. Love is happily doing your job at the office. Love is empathizing with a teammate for the right reason. Love is thanking God everyday for his abundance. Love is picking up oneself after a fall.

So, from this valentine’s day say those 3 words aloud and often. Make sure not to confine love. Love yourself and radiate love around to all unconditionally and live the best version of yourself. 

Happy Valentine’s Day! 🙂

I Love You! Never mind, I was looking at the mirror. 🙂

Why do you wait to utter these three words? 🙂

Start with yourself! 🙂

With love,

Rukmini P Kirthivasan

7 Things to manage stress during Exclusive Breastfeeding

Hello Mama and Papa, 

Congratulations on your bundle of joy!

Are you on this remarkable Journey?? 

Do you lament about lack of alone time? Or your spouse is feeling stressed and you see it visibly?

Read on! 

Breastfeeding journey is a marathon. It is something that creates bonding with the child. It is the precious gift that one could give for the child. The benefits of breastfeeding are numerous. But the journey or process as such is tiring. Though the journey is worth it, it takes a lot of patience, persistence and perseverance and it needs loads of self care rituals. 

On hearing self care ritual do not think of a relaxed pedicure, manicure or a 1 hour hair spa. You are not entitled for a complete 2 hours free time from the baby! It is an utopian concept. Either the child needs you or you will be constantly checking on the baby! Because after being a mother there is no single thought that’s all about only thyself. Even if it comes you will feel guilty about being selfish. So, it is always about the baby first and ourselves next. You could even be the single child not sharing things but the child occupies a lot of space in the head and yes that could cause a lot of stress as you are not used to it!

So in the minimum luxurious alone time one can do the following to keep oneself sane. 

7. Watching TV or Web Series

People do tell to have eye contact with the baby to have more bonding. Yes. It does give a beautiful bonding. But as a human being it could be difficult for you to look at the child 8-12 times a day for 20-30 minutes. So, there isn’t going to be anything wrong to watch tv after the baby has happily latched and closed his/her eyes! Subscribe to Amazon prime or Netflix (if you feel so), Hot star, Sun Next also is not a bad option. It may or may not bust your stress on all days but it could be really helpful when your baby is going through growth spurts and during cluster feeding! Do not hesitate to subscribe and watch your favourite shows. 

6. Dress Up 

Being a breastfeeding mother could put dressing up on the back seat. Not having time to comb your hair, say, not having energy to comb could be more precise. But just squeeze in time for your makeover. They are worth it! As you get dressed up and look presentable it would be refreshing for you and you will be confident about your looks after pregnancy. It will boost your overall mood. Believe me the next feeding would be more relaxed. 

5. Learn Something New

If you are used to something like writing, painting or reading; try a different one. Take up cooking, gardening, calligraphy or you can also prepare yourself for rejoining to work after maternity leave. A new course or technology could be the best bet if you are someone who doesn’t stress yourself out while learning technologies. These could make you intriguing. And you will look forward to it and during feeding you can speak with your baby! That will also be a wonderful way to bond with the child and he/she will also respond with aah, coo sounds. In general sharing will make things great and you will feel it. In the new hobby you will be a learner reminding you that you are also new to motherhood and will learn things eventually. 

4. Exercise and Sleep

If you have undergone c section or normal delivery it doesn’t change the time for body hormones to return to their original state! C section has an additional factor with respect to scar though. But in both cases walking is a great option. And with feeding for longer hours shoulders and neck could be under more stress! Do shoulder rolls, neck rotation and wrist work. They will help in flexibility of limbs. With breast feeding it could be difficult to get enough sleep. Make sure to sleep when your baby sleeps. Power naps will become your friend and you will just fall asleep as you count from 1-100. You will sleep just when it’s not even 30.

Photo by Wendy Wei from Pexels


3. Vent Out – Journaling, Speaking with friends

Venting out could be the best therapy for most of the things! There could be N number of old and new issues that clog the mind! It could cloud your analysis. Most of the successful persons in the world attribute their success to Journaling! Journaling has its own healing effects. It gives a clear idea to yourself what is important and what is not as you are consistent with it! And keeping in touch with friends can always take you to your best days. Speak up with your trusted friend once in a while. Just share your pressing issues. They could definitely come up with a solution as they see things from outside! If you find it rational you can always go with that! Or if you find people are judgmental just stick to Journaling. You can even destroy it if you need relief. That has its own effect! Just figure out which form is comfortable for you.

Also stay in touch with other new mommies! This could definitely tell you that you are not alone in the process and it is not that only you have given birth in this world! There are other similar people who go through the same as you. That could be a strength for you and you will feel a lot better as you get to know about other children and mommies. In the process do not forget that your partner is your best friend! Keep sharing your thoughts and of course love with your spouse! He will give awesome ideas to combat stress! 

2. Breathing and Prayer

Just breathe! Inhale and exhale! They are capable of doing wonders physically, psychologically, emotionally! It will remove the trapped toxins in no time and help to feel relaxed and refreshed in minutes! 21 times a day could be of greater benefit! Inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth visualising that you are pushing all the negativity out! Believe me it’s a great exercise giving instant energy! Thanks to Relationship and Energy Healer Dr. Girish Kumar of Human Connect for this greatest lesson. It is useful anytime, not just during breastfeeding! Breathing helps to overcome any stressful situation. To get to know more about yourself and healing your relationships with others you can register for one free session with him to know where you stand. – https://human-connect.in/ 

Then sitting in front of your favourite lord could make your heart lighter. Pray with utmost calmness. No worries about time or time line or time zone. You have got all the time in this world and take one day at a time! Prayer could definitely make this beautiful journey wonderful! Just pray calmly! 

1. Be Present

Experience the power of now in every act that you do. It could be having a face wash! Feel it all the way through the process. Opening the face wash bottle, feeling the liquid on your hand, rubbing gently on your face! Enjoy the form against your skin! Feel the cold water splashing on your face! It’s great to enjoy such little things! And they give you instant energy! Similarly while feeding the baby, feel it with the whole of the heart! Visualize you are feeding whole some nutrients, unconditional love, positivity, great health as the baby latches on to you! Doing this in two of your feeds does make things really great! 

These could help you to keep yourself sane in the journey of exclusive breastfeeding! Share your experience and how you managed or manage stress during this marathon! If you are a papa tell us how you help your partner to combat stress!

Cheers and Love! 

Rukmini P Kirthivasan

Happy Pongal

This is one of the awesome festivals in India. This festival is all about respecting nature and it’s abundance! It is celebrated all over India but in different names!

Let’s worship the visible God ‘The Sun’ to give good yields this year and pray for the well being of all farmers! Let’s take a moment to thank all farmers for all the food we have eaten these many years and for all that we are going to eat in the coming years!


Photo by Darwis Alwan from Pexels

Pongal is more close to nature compared to all other festivals as it is an agricultural festival. In previous days oxen played a predominant role in agriculture. Though tractors have replaced oxen the species still play a vital role in the ecological pyramid and for all milk she has been giving, cows the second mother from different species! Not just cows all animals play a predominant role in the ecological pyramid and for the well being of society! 

Tomorrow being Mattu Pongal, a day where we thank all the bulls, cows, goats etc. Let’s take a moment to remember all those animals that have lost their lives in Amazon and Australian fire! They have been playing a crucial role in the ecological pyramid and now we are missing them!

Photo by Sabel Blanco from Pexels

Let’s pray the almighty for a safer world where there is a win-win situation for all the dwellers of this Earth! Together let’s live happily as one big family! 

By being by the side of nature we give the best place for the coming generations! 

Happy Indian Family wishes a very Happy Pongal! 🙂

Regards,

Rukmini P Kirthivasan

Starting A Family

Happy New year! 🙂 Hope you are doing well! I would like to share what will be up here in this blog for 2020.

This year, the blog will host ‘Series Writing’. Not clear? Well, let me explain. The series’ title is going to be ‘Starting A Family’ and there are going to be different posts underneath it. 

Starting a family is a real daunting task. While starting a new job is more of social status infused with economy; starting a family is more emotional plus the social and economy aspects! 

Agree? 

The institution of marriage in reality is portrayed as something to feel bad! Getting married is losing their freedom for guys and for girls is sacrificing their passion and dreams! This is how marriage is defined over years. The idea of marriage on the whole is something when happened people feel trapped and when it gets delayed people feel bad. These kind of push and pull thoughts creates an enormous amount of pressure on the process.

So, getting ready for marriage amongst the pressure from distant relatives, parents, friends, on top of all, social media posts and just like icing on the cake is the pressure from ourselves. The resistance that one creates in mind in the name of resentment, fear etc. becomes the major obstacle.

So, in this blog there are going to be series of posts on The Big Day of your life. 


Photo by Emma Bauso from Pexels .

On seeing the pre wedding shoots in the news feed it could seem like a bed of roses and one might beat themselves up for not taking the decision of getting married; But in reality certain amount of work needs to be done to get there. To handle the various pressure from different sources, primarily the pressure we put on ourselves have to be lifted. And to lift this pressure we have to help ourselves before seeking help or jumping into the blame shifting game. Because always a certain amount of knowledge of where we stand in mental state could definitely help us from getting overwhelmed. 

So knowing oneself is the first step in getting married. Sometimes, we would be our own enemy in the process and we would be blaming parents, horoscopes, situations etc. To ensure that we are our best friend, fall back in the pressure cooker process of Arranged Marriage in Indian Society it would be the best bet to know oneself!

So please tune to www.happyindianfamily.com for Part 1 of ‘Starting A Family’ which is ‘Knowing Yourself’ series! Every week there is going to be minimum of one post on the blog on aspects related to family!

Comments and Experiences are most welcome people!! Please share them without hesitation so that we can grow together as one cannot experience all things in this world but can read them and get to know! Catch you in next post! 

Until then, loads of love to one and all.

With Love,

Rukmini P Kirthivasan

The Year Of Dreams To Actions

Dreams are not what you see in sleep. They are the things that do not let you sleep. – Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam.

In my 3rd Standard or 4th Standard there was a lesson in English called ‘2005’. It is about an automated house. But it has no dwellers. It is programmed to do things on time! At 8 AM in the morning it will toast bread. Table comes out in the living room and shuffles cards for 4 for a rummy game. A bathroom automatically gears up for a bath of dog. And many other things are programmed in that house. In the streets as well there are no people! In the epilogue the author says that by 2005 there are going to be no people! All would have died and only machines stay till their batteries die out!

Sorry. I vaguely remember the epilogue. But ultimately there would be no human race on Earth! That is how the author concludes!

Next in the 2009, there came a movie 2012. It is all about world coming to an end. Earth crust becoming unstable after solar flare and only the millionaires are warned and common people are left out. In the series of events finally the only landmass that remains is Africa.

We also get to hear about ‘Pralayam’ where world is likely to get submerged in Water! And people tell it happens part by part and doesn’t happen in one stretch. The above book or movie is all about negative aspect. But 2020 has a different vision even before the year came into an existence.

Would like call this year as ‘The Year Of Abdul Kalam’ or ‘The Year Of Dreams to Actions’. Despite people speaking about destruction, negative aspects, problems, blame shifting; Dr. Abdul Kalam showed people to shift focus to construction, positivity, solutions and taking responsibility of a situation in his book where he visioned about 2020 – India as a developed nation!

Image Courtesy: Internet

He proved that being positive would give only positive effects for ourselves and our society. Just a look back on his death ceremony. People from all over India came to attend the ceremony but there was no chaos. People worked for one more day as a mark of respect. People silently paid tribute! But when other leaders pass(ed) away, a fear is seen rather respect. People stay at home fearing some chaos. But for the people’s president one could spot only love and respect flowing all over! That shows the kind of thought process, positive energy with which he carried himself and radiated around!

So, this year 2020, it’s time to take his vision forward professionally and personally subsequently taking our country to great heights! Let’s take better care of ourselves, family and automatically we will have time to take care of our nation! Let’s be one big Happy Family!

Wishing you all a very happy new year 2020. 😊

With Love,

Rukmini P Kirthivasan

Merry Christmas

Happy Indian Family wishes a very Happy Christmas to all!

Festivals are symbol of hope, joy and sharing! Christmas is all about gifts from Santa for all! When young it’s all about chocolates, cakes, playing with friends. As we grow up it’s about good career, more money and energy to grow! And in old age it’s about good health, peaceful sleep!

On this day let Santa come and gift all that we have been dreaming for! While unwrapping new gifts make sure to unwrap the gift boxes in hand!

Let’s count our blessings as more blessings are on our way!

Photo by Ylanite Koppens from Pexels

Happy Christmas! 🙂

With Love,
Rukmini P Kirthivasan