‘Shiva Shakthi’ – The Role Models

A family is always special. It could be a nuclear family or a joint family. There is always more to learn when we are around people. A man can go anywhere in this world but his heart remains at his home. A man for whom, his fall back is his family is more confident, knows where peace, happiness and strength are. A man with a family is ever blessed. People with no support system are emotionally hurt and find difficulty in handling people and facing situations. But a man with father-mother knows he has a strong support system and sleeps peacefully. 

As children we tend to learn things from parents. Just like chromosomes come from both Mother and Father in equal ratio, behavioural aspects also come from surroundings where a child grows and learns to react and respond from mother, father and people around. In a family, both father and mother put equal effort and it is 50-50. Sometimes one gives more and sometimes other gives more and the family runs with mutual love, freedom, respect and understanding. 

But, Why this title for the post on a family blog? 

In India, spirituality is an indispensable part of a family. Being religious is a choice though, but being spiritual is far from being religious and it is something that keeps stress under control. And festivals are something ever cherishable. It is another beautiful day that brings everyone on table and could share a delicious meal together! Only such memories give strength when one is at his/her low point. 

So, on this auspicious day of Maha Shivaratri, shall see how Shiva Shakthi influences our familial structure. In Indian mythology, there is the term ‘Ammai Appan’. Indeed famous in Tamil Nadu. The term denotes the universal father and mother, Lord Shiva and Goddess Parvathi. There are numerous scriptures which speak about various manifestations of Lord Shiva and Goddess Parvathi in nature. Philosophically, Shiva is stillness and Shakthi is energy. Scientifically, Shiva is the potential energy and Shakthi is the kinetic energy. 

Speaking here with respect to Family and contribution of mother and father being in the institution of marriage is inspired from the history that still stands as a wonderful example of 50-50 partnership on all aspects of life is the history of King Sundareshwara Pandiyan and Queen Meenakshi who ruled Madurai, Tamil Nadu. 

It is believed that the universal couple descended on this Earth to show how to run a family well. For 6 months Sundareshwara Pandiyan rules the kingdom and Meenakshi takes care of the family. Next 6 months Meenakshi rules the kingdom and Sundareshwara Pandiyan takes care of the family.

Shri Ardhanari – Line Art by Ajay Kaarthick and Sowmya @Miya’s Hut

There is no gender bias and no gender based task assignment. Might be, one could be a level up and other could be a level down in any of the tasks, but that doesn’t affect the other attempting to take up tasks where one is weak and do it once or twice and learn from the better half in polishing skills.

For the fact, I initially wanted to name this blog ‘Shiva Shakthi’ as they teach core family values. But it sounded a lot spiritual rather than familial. So changed the name to ‘Happy Indian Family’. I take this Maha Shivaratri to Thank the Universal mother and father for the inspiration.

They had set an example on how to run a family with love, respect, freedom, acceptance, being there for another and balancing the cycle called life by being as each other’s better halves. Today, on Mahashivaratri, let’s pray Mahadev and Parvati devi to bless us with an emotional, psychological, physical well being, prosperity, consciousness in each one of us. Let there be love in every one and let’s radiate to others and let our families be more merrier as the masculine and feminine energies are at unison.

Happy Shivaratri!_/\_

#HaraHaraMahadeva

With love,

Rukmini P Kirthivasan

Decoding The Indigenous Definition Of Love

What is love globally?

Love is unconditional. Love is pure. Love is the base of existence. The term ‘I Love You’ is said in every relationship in other countries. But in India it is confined to one aspect predominantly.

What is love in India?

Somehow, due to the influence of cinema or We, Indians seem to get the basic definition of love wrong in general. As youngsters, say in teens love is considered a taboo. Not sure how many guys were said so. But when girls go for studies, extra classes parents fear. A grandmother would shout at parents, “Pombala Pulla, Padika Vecha Love pannitu poiduva”.(Girl child, if you let her read she will love someone and runaway)

How many of you have heard this dialogue? 

How many fathers said “She is my daughter she won’t commit such a mistake” ? 

See, the basic definition is wrong. And one fine day parents fix an alliance. Throughout teens guys and girls are allowed to study in co-ed but there is always an invisible barrier because they would fall in love and suddenly after colleague they want two people to get married and in a year they urge to become parents. Some are lucky to find love. For some it will be lust at the first place and slowly they find love. And in some cases it would be lust throughout! And by the way, I am not against arranged marriage. Just want respect and love to be in the first place and sex is part of this beautiful relationship. As love sets in first sex becomes sacred.

In fact, my marriage is an arranged one and I am a new mother. Also, I am pro arranged marriage but only if there is a scope to get know, streamline oneself, know what one needs and wants in life, a promise from partner that there would be respect first, then love, freedom, encouragement in positive deeds, correcting when planning is bad, being equal, giving shoulder to shoulder in pursuing dreams. 

Photo by Lisa Fotios from Pexels

A marriage is where there is huge scope to get a life long friend, philosopher, guide, lover, mentor and what not? It paves a way for growth in all aspects of life. A partner helps in tremendous financial, emotional, physical, psychological, spiritual growth. He or she could be a twin flame if the definition of love is understood right. 

Here, as stated earlier love is a taboo. If the girl goes for tuition (colloquially) love would spoil her. If she pursues higher education love would spoil her. If she/he is in friendship with another gender after marriage that person has an illicit affair. These stems when one tries to put love in a box and is in fear.

See, seems even I got the definition wrong. Confining Love to Marriage. 

So What Is Love?

Love is being free. As parents, love is confidence when a child pursues higher education. As parents, love is freedom when the child goes out with friends. As Children, Love is being responsible with freedom. As a partner, love is trust when a spouse goes out with their friends, be it of any gender. As a partner, love is being the pillar and supporting the spouse in dreams and uplifting each other in their not so strong aspects. As a boss, Love is not over promising your clients and putting colleagues into trouble. 

As we decode we need to change the way we see love. Let’s shed the cinematic definition of love – be it the first night scene or the duet in exotic location. And to the teens love isn’t something that seems glossy when you are in higher secondary or in early college days. Because in that stage you tend to fall in love. But in Love there is no falling. Only in love people rise. If you are failing beware and time to change gears for good.

On exploring love, Love has various forms. It cannot be just put in a box and in a single definition. And there is a list which seems endless.

Love is helping elders. Love is sharing chores with parents. Love is being there for the right cause with siblings. Love is taking care of pets. Love is watering plants. Love is a trusting partner. Love is not talking behind a friend’s back. Love is happily doing your job at the office. Love is empathizing with a teammate for the right reason. Love is thanking God everyday for his abundance. Love is picking up oneself after a fall.

So, from this valentine’s day say those 3 words aloud and often. Make sure not to confine love. Love yourself and radiate love around to all unconditionally and live the best version of yourself. 

Happy Valentine’s Day! 🙂

I Love You! Never mind, I was looking at the mirror. 🙂

Why do you wait to utter these three words? 🙂

Start with yourself! 🙂

With love,

Rukmini P Kirthivasan

Happy Pongal

This is one of the awesome festivals in India. This festival is all about respecting nature and it’s abundance! It is celebrated all over India but in different names!

Let’s worship the visible God ‘The Sun’ to give good yields this year and pray for the well being of all farmers! Let’s take a moment to thank all farmers for all the food we have eaten these many years and for all that we are going to eat in the coming years!


Photo by Darwis Alwan from Pexels

Pongal is more close to nature compared to all other festivals as it is an agricultural festival. In previous days oxen played a predominant role in agriculture. Though tractors have replaced oxen the species still play a vital role in the ecological pyramid and for all milk she has been giving, cows the second mother from different species! Not just cows all animals play a predominant role in the ecological pyramid and for the well being of society! 

Tomorrow being Mattu Pongal, a day where we thank all the bulls, cows, goats etc. Let’s take a moment to remember all those animals that have lost their lives in Amazon and Australian fire! They have been playing a crucial role in the ecological pyramid and now we are missing them!

Photo by Sabel Blanco from Pexels

Let’s pray the almighty for a safer world where there is a win-win situation for all the dwellers of this Earth! Together let’s live happily as one big family! 

By being by the side of nature we give the best place for the coming generations! 

Happy Indian Family wishes a very Happy Pongal! 🙂

Regards,

Rukmini P Kirthivasan

Merry Christmas

Happy Indian Family wishes a very Happy Christmas to all!

Festivals are symbol of hope, joy and sharing! Christmas is all about gifts from Santa for all! When young it’s all about chocolates, cakes, playing with friends. As we grow up it’s about good career, more money and energy to grow! And in old age it’s about good health, peaceful sleep!

On this day let Santa come and gift all that we have been dreaming for! While unwrapping new gifts make sure to unwrap the gift boxes in hand!

Let’s count our blessings as more blessings are on our way!

Photo by Ylanite Koppens from Pexels

Happy Christmas! 🙂

With Love,
Rukmini P Kirthivasan

Happy Margazhi

The king of months have arrived!

“Maasanam Maargaseershohum.” – Bhagavad Gita, 10.35 😊

Every year it is the same set of rituals. Getting up early. Drawing Kolam in front yard. Hearing Margazhi Maha Utsavam. Attending concerts in local temples. Hearing Thiruppavai – Thiruvempavai Meaning in a channel. Trying to follow the rules of Paavai Nonbu. Some days succeeding and some days failing miserably after seeing some ‘Diary’ products ad which make one drool. And at the end of the month eagerly waiting for next Margazhi vowing to oneself to follow the rules.

Simply put, it is ‘Than Muyarchiyil Satrum Thalaradha Vikramadhithan’ kind of for loop. All festivals are in repeat mode. The thing is how we receive the festivals each year! Ultimately interests matter and nothing else. And when it’s Margazhi, it is always welcomed with heart full of joy and joy only!

Happen to read an article from old newspaper dated January 11th 2010 on the greatness and history of Margazhi. Link in references. (Do read the link.) Festivals are celebrated to bring people from all walks of together! Vendor to CEO by designation in corporate it is for all. Festivals always have a global perspective and takes care of a country’s GDP. They are for all and by all!

Why Margazhi is different from other festivals is, rituals ensure that the entire ecological pyramid is taken care. A poem from ‘Paripadal’ explains the greatness of ‘Pavai Nonbu’ – வெம்பாதாக, வியல் நில வரைப்பு!’ – as all the rituals of Paavai Nonbu is done it protects the world from heat says the poet Nalandhuvanar in Paripadal 11.

While Margazhi is cold how does it protects the Earth from getting heated? It is said that as people wake up early and proceed with the Paavai Nonbu rituals it warms the environment for all organisms right from insects to animals. Cold is nothing but the absence of heat, as we proceed with the rituals it sets the optimum tone for next year rainfall which safeguard us from global warming!

It is great to realize that our ancestors have foreseen all factors and for all in the ecological pyramid, ensuring that the Earth is in Harmony creating a Win-Win situation for all its dwellers!

Why wait? Forget the snooze button and jump out of bed! Grab the Kolam dappa! Let’s rock on this Margazhi and contribute for next year rainfall! And getting up early during ‘Depression Prone Winter’ can really help us to evade the same. And don’t forget the ‘Monkey Kulla’. 😊

Instagramers like @ Kasturi_Venkat have really inspired us on Kolam and their nuances behind. Thank you! While colour kolams might seem to have chemicals in it, as a little girl back then it has always inspired me to participate in Margazhi. It is okay to go for it and as one realizes the actual reason behind a ritual the fancy jiguna falls by itself! Maturity! 😁

Wishing you all a very Happy Margazhi! 😊

Images :

  • Colour Kolam by me at the front yard, drawn last year.
  • Vibrant colors all the way from Nandi Kovil Street, Tiruchirapalli.

With Love,

Rukmini P Kirthivasan

References:

http://www.tamilhindu.com/2010/01/paavai-nonbu-and-thai-neeraadal/

Painting – Aandal and Krishna – Krishna for today – Artist Keshav